It is becoming more and more obvious with every new scandal that hits the news – men do not do a very good job of controlling themselves sexually. Many do; many are able to get through life just fine without ruining their lives and the lives of others with bad decisions regarding sex. But it can be tough. We have built in biological compulsions that served the development of our species – and all the species that led up to being human –really well. But saying this is not to give excuses to sex offenders. Humankind has developed and evolved to the point where we should be able to control ourselves – but many of us can’t.
We have seen many famous and high-profile movie stars, comedians, politicians, newsmen, business owners, and many more act in ridiculous ways when it comes to sex. These people are throwing away their careers and reputations because they either just couldn’t control themselves in the moment, or they set up a situation to exert their power. There are many people with a lot to lose out there doing stupid and harmful things. We have seen Christian televangelists get caught in sex scandals. Surely, if there was anyone out there motivated to keep it in their pants, it would be someone who is making tons of money convincing people he is a person of God.
It seems that the love of money or the desire to keep a good reputation aren’t enough motivation for many to behave. We saw a fairly young movie star with a beautiful super model wife get caught picking up an unattractive hooker. We saw one of the most respected and loved successful comedians get caught drugging unsuspecting women for sex. And, all the time, we hear of guys throwing away their entire families for the lust of a new woman. We see teachers getting caught with child porn all the time – many of whom were well liked and respected before the truth came out. And despite all this coverage of men getting caught doing awful things, I wonder just how many other people are out there getting caught as well that we don’t hear about. Not to mention those who aren’t caught at all. This cacophony of sex offence we’re hearing is just a sliver of what’s really going on.
Once in a while, a woman does something stupid and harmful, too – men do not have a total monopoly on this subject, but pretty close. We know men are weak in this area. So, of course, sex is what businesses use – especially advertising companies and the entertainment industry. The porn industry is doing great! Businesses exploit our weaknesses, and this only magnifies the problem even more: this constant bombardment of scantily clad beautiful women thrown in our faces.
Then we hear about sex trafficking and other horrible ways women are mistreated – not only in other countries but the United States as well. Women have been mistreated since the beginning of time: the millions or even billions of sexual assaults, daughters being sold off to monsters for marriage or sex videos, women being punished for being raped, the list goes on and on. I won’t even get into how women have been underpaid, overworked and under appreciated right here in our own country.
So, why are men acting like this? Is it just a coincidence that the same patterns of behavior are being performed over and over again? Yes, the male sex drive is a ferocious beast, but a large part of the problem is our society. We teach men to behave like this. Boys are taught that sex is something they should always want and actively pursue, while girls are taught that it’s something they should hold on to, and not engage in too much. Men are rampaging around assaulting women, in part, because they have had it drilled into them their whole lives that looking for sex is part of masculinity. And women are not, in part, because they are taught the opposite – not to have too much sex and certainly not to go looking for it. That would be being a slut, which is… bad? And being a stud is… good? These irreconcilable attitudes, in which one is chasing and the other is withholding, only leads to harm. And this is constantly perpetuated, by advertising as described above, by porn, by movies and TV, and by gender roles in society overall.
Men are dogs, and there are things we should be doing as a country to limit the assaults on and mistreatments of women. Children must be taught better to respect others’ minds and bodies. Boys and girls must be taught the same things – and learn that they are equal. We, as a society, should place more importance on treating each other better, criticizing each other less, and respecting everyone more. We need more awareness on these issues, more understanding, more responsibility, more punishment, more therapy, and more tools to help those who have trouble. Life is full of battles, and this is a battle every man can win if they really want to. Men, you have to fight. And if you need help, go out and get it.